empty by ~Kosmur

The past few months have been extremely difficult and busy. My new product hit the market last month. The effort required to “give birth” to something new is absolutely incredible; the process is exciting and also exhausting. But as usual, the release brings with it a feeling of emptiness from an achieved objective. Fortunately when it comes to work, there is no end in sight. Plenty of new goals are waiting to be achieved.

A couple weeks ago, some blogger out there sent a lot of traffic my way with the following comment: “Some people will set up blogs for bizarre, individualistic reasons. This pretentious douche thinks of his blog as his gift to his children. Sorry dude, I bet they’d rather have a Wii.” I wasn’t going to dignify his words with a response. But he’s only the tool, the stimulus for further thought. The response is not meant for him.

Some will call names, crucify publicly or in private, harass, persecute, put down, and ridicule people that they don’t understand, in every case highlighting their own weakness, fear, or lack of self-confidence. Even good, confident, strong people sometimes become weak and engage in name calling. “That idiot has no idea how to drive!” “Obama is pure evil!” When we can do little to affect a situation, we vent. Some are evil and attack to evoke a response. They become surprised when their attack is read and the exact opposite of “expected” response is given. This usually puts them in a position of severe weakness (which brings forward further attacks).

I must have hit a nerve a year and half ago saying that I was not writing to make money. My posts may be worth nothing (which is most likely the case) but at least the site is not packed with Google ads asking readers to click on “relevant” links. The blogger somewhere boasted that he was making about $20 from each post. I would rather my posts were worth $0 than $20, a concept he’s likely to misunderstand. I said that this was my gift to my children. This earned his ridicule and a “wise suggestion” to get them a Wii instead. He doesn’t realize that my 7-year-old son will probably buy his own Wii by Christmas, of course if that’s how he chooses to spend his hard-saved dollars and gifts from the tooth fairy.

In some ways people are like airplanes cruising at different altitudes and speeds. He’s jetting and spreading money smarts from high altitudes at high speeds, has many readers, and even earns $20 for every post. I’ll continue riding my little bicycle and believing that some day those who matter will value these scribbles.

teatro alla scala by ~di-a-na

Walking into Teatro alla Scala brought back childhood memories pushed away and almost forgotten. We would gather around at the playground at the observatory. We talked about different things and imagined the world that we didn’t have. In the summer, we would stay out past midnight, looking at the stars, talking, thinking, being children. We must have been no more than ten or twelve at the time. (I wonder what my kids will remember about their childhood.)

One of us whose grandparents were from Serbia seemed to have more interaction with the outside world and liked to talk about culture that we could only try to imagine. She would say that the best opera was La Traviata and the best place to see it was the La Scala. Impressionable kids… we had no idea what La Scala, or La Traviata were. We thought that since we were so inseparable, we would always remain together sharing in each others lives. Who would have thought we would end up so scattered around the world…

The walk toward the castle brought forth thoughts of experiences being completely meaningless unless they were shared. Travel has been a chore for me recently but I only feel this way about business travel. If I were here with my beautiful wife instead, the place would take on a whole new meaning. If one thinks of life as a bank account, this trip is a withdrawal. The “account” has a negative balance because the last few months have been almost completely devoted to work … work that in a few years will appear meaningless in the rear-view mirror as our good friend recently reminded me.

Next week’s surgery is almost a blessing in disguise since I’ll get to stay home and be closer to those who matter most without the constant barrage of the urgent and unimportant of this life.

Alamo by ~Gekko-chou

Last week I was at a conference in San Antonio. I had to join the event on Saturday but was not required to take part in any activities on Sunday morning. I thought I would take the opportunity to go for a short walk and see the Alamo. Since there was an IMAX theater on the way, I felt compelled to check out what was playing at the time and noticed that a show about the battle of the Alamo was about to start in a few minutes. Quick change of plans and I was watching the battle on the giant screen. I had no idea that the battle had taken place February 23 – March 6, 1836. I was watching the movie on February 28th – 174 years later.

A two minute walk from the theater and I was standing in front of the shrine. It was an experience of a lifetime. I was humbled to stand there remembering those who had perished.

A Safe Flight Home by ~Ericana

Last week was devoted to Canada. Fairmont Château Laurier was impressive. The event was executed perfectly. My small piece went better than I had expected. In preparation, I learned a few things about the government in Canada. After the event, in a chat, I learned about a thought that could make everything we’re doing less relevant. I heard about a fear to remain relevant from my management earlier in the week. With these two tokens in place, I couldn’t get the word “relevant” out of my head.

What does it take to remain relevant? In free and advanced societies, these words seem to represent the essence of the battle. The quest to remain relevant brings out the best in us. We innovate, advance, improve and compete to obsolete the status quo. The worst sometimes comes out when we feel we are no longer important. A few weeks ago, someone special mentioned in a passing conversation that she wanted to live as long as she could be helpful. The challenge is that in our different roles as contributors, workers, parents, leaders, we must do everything possible to advance the current state of affairs but at the same time we know progress, innovation, advancement, money do not matter most. Some of us balance this by time division or by life division. Others don’t balance and focus on one set of priorities at the expense of others. Some fruits of labor remain relevant for centuries such as the Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto #2 in F currently playing on my computer. Sometimes we are only relevant for a few minutes. For example, when we give a stranger directions on how to get to where they are heading (the GPS innovation has decreased these opportunities significantly).

On the flight back, exhausted, I put on a set of noise canceling headphones to tune out the jet, and rest the restless mind a bit. The iPhone shuffle played this song:

In that near-perfect silence, this powerful melody somehow transported the tired mind back to what mattered most. My beautiful wife and little ones were waiting for me.

Ara Sarkissian and MUSANER

Last Saturday night we were at an interesting and special concert. Despite all of the efforts of the organizers to advertise to the local Armenian communities, only about sixty to seventy people came and most of them seemed non-Armenian.  I was very disappointed in the Armenian turnout but was very happy that my beautiful wife did not let me miss it. Ara Sarkissian had done a fantastic job organizing the folk-jazz ensemble. To sample some of the most beautiful Armenian sounds you can visit his Komitas Project page. The project is named after the great Armenian composer Soghomon Soghomonyan named Komitas after a poet and author of sharakans from VII century. Some of Komitas’ works can be freely downloaded from here.

Ara Sarkissian’s ensemble with majority non-Armenian musicians played a different kind of jazz, one that intertwined the classical with the modern, the Armenian with the non-Armenian, the simple with the complex, resulting in an absolutely great evening. Of these, the ratio of Armenian to non-Armenian sounds and the contrast between the two reflected life for me. We speak Armenian and English in roughly the same proportion and attend Armenian events and participate in the Armenian culture in a similar mix. The Armenian culture, with a smaller footprint in this country, in the world, and in his concert, nonetheless is very close to heart, special, and necessary for me as it was for his music. Also, Armenian culture can be understood, appreciated and celebrated by many non-Armenians the same way that the melodies were played and celebrated by his non-Armenian musicians. Just as some amount of reality is required in humor, some amount of life is required in art. The concert had a great amount of life and represented a welcome encounter with art.

The Beginning Of The End... by =WiciaQ

I collect different topics to mention here but since time has been limited lately, there are quite a few drafts. This was one but I rewrote it because  of something that happened yesterday.

I made a comment about the easy debt/credit cycle possibly ending to which someone responded with a long letter. The first two lines in it were “I’m appealing to you to use whatever influence you might have to take the first step in righting a great wrong. I know you’re an obscure member of an otherwise brilliant List, but seeing that your contributions are negligible, I figured you wouldn’t be otherwise occupied in penning some easily forgettable screed…”

Two thoughts came to mind upon reading that letter:

1. The words of a great friend Levon who died a few years ago “Ցեխի մեջ քար նետես, աչքիդ կթռնի: (If you throw a stone into mud, it might splatter on your face.)”
2. The words of Benjamin Franklin in his autobiography “If you wish information  and improvement from the knowledge of others,  and yet at the same time express yourself as firmly fixed in your present opinions, modest, sensible men, who do not love disputation, will probably leave you undisturbed in the possession of your error.“

The letter was ended with “Please leave me alone,” which I have done by unsubscribing. I am left with the tranquil feeling of moving on to more important matters.

An Old Friend

It feels like a century since my last update. Today was a very special graduation day for me and must be celebrated by a line in the proverbial sand. With over two dozen bids, my 4×8 trailer was sold for $100 to the next slave of manual labor who will certainly get good value for his investment in cash terms but not in hours wasted transporting worthless stuff from one location to another. For over a decade, the temptation and the need to save a few dollars has been too great and the tool too close for me to be able to resist sinking time into transporting the two yards of mulch or the two shelves for the kids’ toys. Now that is all history despite my beautiful wife’s and my wise brother’s sage words that I shall regret this painful decision. Life is full of risks. This is one risk the ultra-careful side of me is ready to accept right now. Who knows… maybe I will look back in ten years with eyes full of tears… not from nostalgic memories of the great past but from realization of all the money wasted on transportation. Let’s see how it goes but for now it feels great.

A time comes when even the timeless time feels like it’s running out of precious time.

The process of learning from others is my “secret” method of learning life’s lessons. We have all heard that we learn through our mistakes, or failure is good. I do not subscribe to this as the price paid for making our mistakes and failures can be very high. I make mistakes all the time and learn from those but the lessons learned elsewhere help me make fewer mistakes and minimize their impact. Learning as much as possible from others’ mistakes and failures is a more profitable method especially since there are plenty of examples to learn from all around us. This process, however, is not easy and requires brutal honesty with ourselves along with ability to connect, understand and learn from everyone around us. On learning, this post from Nigel Davies should not be missed. Also on learning, this post from Jeff Watson drills on street smarts vs. book smarts. This letter from Victor Niederhoffer should be read by all children from 0 to 100 years old.

Maroon Bells by *Latefor

I made a comment there about each life representing a bell shaped curve of some sort. While we represent a statistic in various frequency distributions that also look like bell curves, there I was talking about our individual life’s highs and lows by any measure (health, wealth, knowledge, contributions, physical ability, suffering, etc.) also looking like bells along the time dimension. These are not perfectly balanced bells and at any point in time, there’s someone who’s just starting and another who’s at the top of the curve. Learning from those who have already made the mistakes or failed along their bell path when we become interested in the subject is an exciting experience but requires sometimes temporarily ignoring other characteristics and disabling some of our screens. Obviously, we must be careful to only soak in the content that we seek and not the rest present in the overwhelming composite called the human nature.

Along the same lines, I could not get away from the TV during this interview with Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot about the “third chapter” in life. I’m only in my second chapter but can already sense the significant changes in patience and perspective. While I am in no rush to reach the third chapter, it is good to know of at least one way to deal with the changes in the bells.

White Mountain River 1 by *ellensama

After spending a few days in the mountains of the neighboring state with the distinguished motto “Live Free or Die,” we are back to our daily routines. The mountains and the fresh air seem to have certain healing powers… well at least for the mind and the spirit. Spending time with the family was definitely a treat forcing me to count my blessings more than once during the trip. Upon our return, I found the usual giant stack of blog posts, hundreds of e-mails, news articles and the never-ending list of projects waiting for me. One step at a time, one task and project at a time, I’ll get these completed as usual. But why is vacation time so different from non-vacation time?

Ten years ago when we went on vacation, we’d somehow always manage to stay at a place that seemed nicer than our house. It seemed that bringing those amenities or that environment back home would bring the vacation feeling with it. I can confirm that is not the case. We have 26 acres of conservation land with trails in our back yard not unlike the mountains yet we go for walks in the woods maybe half dozen times per year. While my wife and children go to the beach a few times a week during the summer, I somehow end up there maybe once or twice a month. After building everything the way we wanted, we find little time to enjoy everything we have built.

Ten years ago, on the road to Hana I remember pulling over to use a payphone to check on the status of an important client project. Last week free wi-fi and the iPhone made it a challenge to restrain myself from carrying on with daily routines. Ten years ago in St. Thomas, I was reading Ben Franklin’s autobiography, printed book borrowed from our library. This time I was reading the same downloaded for free to the Kindle on the iPhone. Ten years ago we took pictures on regular film while past weekend we took pictures on digital film. Technology has improved so much in the past 10 years. However, somehow it has evolved toward giving us access to non-vacation activities while on vacation. One could say that bringing home digital pictures that we can browse at any time helps remind us of the vacation times during non-vacation times. Overall, I sense that technology has made our vacation and non-vacation times more hectic. This reminds me of the great state’s motto. Is there life these days free from constant interruption, full of serenity, peace, in a place that is relaxing and enjoyable?

I remember really struggling with stress a few years ago to the point I could not fall asleep at night. My wife would gently remind me of a really nice day on one of our trips and somehow those memories would magically transport me from the reality of the day to a time and place that was nothing but happiness. Perhaps the change of routine and scenery is what vacations are all about and by definition vacation time must be different from non-vacation time so we can understand the difference. Maybe vacations are the weekends of our years. Maybe they’re God’s way of lifting and holding onto the crosses we carry for a brief moment to help us rest a bit. Whatever the case may be, even a long weekend away is a good idea once in a while.