fresh by ~thelittlegoldfish

This was another draft that sat in my book waiting for today.

In many cases, I find it very helpful to start fresh from a clean slate. My mother’s strict rules of neatness and cleanliness, or my father’s requirements for order in everything, or some genetic switch someplace on either or both sides of the family tree have resulted in what my wife calls a clear case of OCD. As expected, I am convinced that this need for order is not a disorder (she thought “auditory” as she finished reading that). Below are some examples where I have found this concept very helpful.

In most construction projects, the results are usually dramatically improved when the existing space is demolished, cleared and cleaned before the “new” work begins. But the danger of “sinchyas” is always introduced in these cases. “Sinchya gonna take down the drywall, why don’t you redo the plumbing behind it.” “Sinchya gonna redo the plumbing, get the electrical redone, too.” Assuming scope can be controlled, starting a project from a cleaner slate yields better results. However, in construction there’s also the daily “clean slate.” I cannot end a day without cleaning up the project area, putting everything in its place so that the next morning I can start from a clean slate. With this method, daily progress is very visible and exciting. Once the work completes, the contrast of before and after is part of the return for the hard work.

I have found starting from a clean sheet also very helpful in dealing with markets. Since I am not running a mutual fund, there is no reason why I cannot sell everything and force myself to buy back after a day, or a week, or a month only what makes sense. This cold shower method is the best acid test that I have found for testing my conviction of owning in the first place. Commissions, possible tax implications, possibility of having to buy at a higher price, and a few other issues do not allow this test to be free of charge. However, the alternative of holding possible losers can be even more costly. I have also found this to be a good way to deal with periods of significant uncertainty. Since I’m in no competition with the market, I tend to buy when I am ahead and sell when I am behind. These are two methods of deciding when to sell (sell all, and sell when lagging).

Even in relationships starting from a clean page is sometimes very helpful and enjoyable. Just as Mother Nature has its mechanisms for new starts, so do we. With every new year, new day and new life, we are given new energy, new hope, and new challenges.

Modernizing of History 5 by ~forrest-rowell

“So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

What a perfect way to summarize our lives and the world in a single sentence! As self-aware creatures we are capable of recognizing self-deception yet acceptance of it (or even recognition) is rarely visible externally even if it takes place internally. Per Dr. Franklin, I should now attempt to “find or make a reason” for this observation. Actually, let me skip that step this time.

Markets are the best place to observe the “reason” factory in action. Why is something selling for more today than yesterday? Why did one buy or sell something at a particular level? Life is one giant reason factory. From workplace to world politics, from entrepreneurial endeavors to unthinkable acts, we are busy finding or making reasons for everything we do.

Maybe all we can do is hope that we do everything for the right reasons…

Chess by =leonard-ART

“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.” ~ Albert Einstein

If you have something important to convey, just say Einstein said it or it’s one of Franklin’s quotes. I don’t know for sure who said the above but it made sense to me especially given this little experience yesterday.

My six-year-old knows how to play chess and recently has started making me think harder. I’m not a particularly strong player but always enjoy the game. So, the two of us sometimes gang up on the computer to see if we can beat the Windows Chess program at its lowest levels and quite often we beat it. Yesterday was one of those times when we were winning against the computer. Toward the end of the game I noticed that my son wanted to get 4 queens. I reminded him that the objective of the game was to capture the king and not just accumulate multiple queens. He knew this already but he could not break his focus from accumulating more power.

This was a very powerful lesson and reminder for me. What is the objective of the game? I’ll stop here.

Piano by ^ArhcamtIlnaad

After searching for a long time, I finally discovered sky.fm, an Internet radio station serving up solo piano. I’m not an artist or someone with deep appreciation of the fine differences in piano music, but I very much enjoy the unique sounds of the plain vanilla piano. The only negative is the constant reminder of one of the biggest regrets I have. I took piano lessons for five years when I was a child but never took it seriously. It was a weekly chore. Sometimes I even hated those lessons. While I try to live my life in a way to never regret any decisions, actions, thoughts, or events, this is one mistake I regret very much.

I’m very happy that others enjoy playing piano. This way I can at least listen.

Newton's Laws by ~bananagram

Isaac Newton’s three laws on motion are fundamental in classical mechanics in physics but I think they also apply just as strongly in our daily lives and our relationships. Let me draw the parallels and let you decide. Is it possible that if we applied these in our lives, we would be able to achieve a new level of harmony and tranquility?

“A body continues to maintain its state of rest or of uniform motion unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force.” ~ Newton’s First Law

An entire book could be written about the applicability of this law in our lives. We remain in the same state of mind unless we open our minds to external influences. Our relationships remain the same unless we apply some forces to change directions, change attitudes, or change the environment. Our environment will not change unless we apply external forces to improve it. Governments, companies, organizations continue in the same path unless a force of change is applied to them. Many more examples can be given here but some opposites are also true. Preservation of a current state may require significant forces to counter-balance the effects of negative forces. Upholding the United States Constitution requires daily work of many people and in some cases fights against injustice, improper applications, and incorrect interpretations. Maintaining a happy family requires pushing back on all negative influences getting in the way. Maintaining positive outlook in life requires working hard on our inner mental state against negative external influences. Let’s look at the second law.

“F = ma: the net force on an object is equal to the mass of the object multiplied by its acceleration.” ~ Newton’s Second Law

Our effectiveness is equal to our substance multiplied by our hard work. Stated differently, if we are not smart and strong, we must work harder to have the same results. As organizations, the teams we hire determine our success because for the same amount of time/work, we must achieve higher results than our competition. As countries, the stronger our individuals, families, communities, and organizations are, the higher our chances of counter-balancing negative forces of nature and calamities. Also, note that it is acceleration rather than velocity that matters. The faster we move, the more we produce, the more we learn and the faster we learn, the stronger our force output becomes. People with integrity and substance have a higher chance of having a lasting impact than those who lack these qualities. The third law is my favorite.

“To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” ~ Newton’s Third Law

I think of this as the Golden Rule in Christian culture. Treating others the way we want to be treated is so fundamental that it’s actually a law in physics explaining the motion of objects large and small. In times of war, the party with the greater force overpowers the opposite side because of an unequal opposite reaction. However, couldn’t this also be true inside our families? If you want something in your relationships, perhaps you should be first to give and then maybe this law of physics will kick in and start working. The examples here are endless. Unfortunately, we are humans and are more complex than objects (check out tit for tat for example).

The world is a complex place but these laws have simplified much in the world of mechanics. Perhaps, they can help simplify something in your world as well. If you came here because you were searching for examples of application of Newton’s laws in daily life, please leave a comment and let me know why you were curious.

The Kid

I recently came across some alarming statistics. Even if they are only 5% correct, it bothers me beyond words to look at them. So, here are a few of my thoughts on parenting.

Every time I hear (or say) the words “my children,” I always remember that children are separate, unique individuals who have their distinct lives. Perhaps it’s the human instinct or some chemistry equation that is responsible for many parents thinking that they “own” their children and some harsh parents “disowning” their children as an act of extreme punishment. Ownership does not apply to children. Why is this so important? This distinction is important because we sometimes ignore, abuse, disregard, and discard the things we own. If we do not like the new set of knives we just purchased, we can take them back to the store and ask for a refund (ultimately we can donate them or throw them away). If the new car does not perform according to specifications, we have warranty repair and the lemon laws. If we’re not happy with the new house we just bought, we can move somewhere else.

We do not own our children. God has entrusted us with their care and proper upbringing. Imagine you take your child to school and later in the day find out that the teacher was disrespectful, unprofessional, or in a milder case not doing a good job teaching. Every good parent would be upset with some becoming outraged. All parents would demand a solution. It is no different when it comes to someone else (God in this case) entrusting us with his children to care for, to do our best to teach, help and respect. They learn what to do by watching what we do. They learn how to feel by studying our feelings. They learn to listen by the way we listen to them. They learn how to be by the way we are. I am saying these things not only from observation of my little ones, but because of my own upbringing. Looking back, I am reminded that I have become a collection of all my experiences, observations, feelings, and thoughts. They too will be. Therefore, it is our responsibility as parents to help them with their journey through experiences, feelings, thoughts, and observations.

This may sound like common sense; however, I have noticed smart, educated, well-raised parents sometimes make critical mistakes. For example, if we hesitate when faced with a decision, even if we believe children do not know or do not understand, they sense our uncertainty and hesitation and learn to hesitate (the “normal” response in their mind) when faced with similar decisions. When faced with a complex decision, one that should make us hesitate and consider all the factors, we cannot rush to judgment because they too will learn to rush to judgment in these cases. If we are unable to love fully, how will they learn how to love? If we are not thankful for what we have, how will they learn to be thankful for what they have? If we break down or explode under stress, they learn that to be the valid response under stress.

Let me make a couple more points. If the two parents respond differently, children receive mixed messages and have to keep testing and retesting to get to the bottom line. If the parents respond incorrectly to the tests and retests, children learn to take advantage of these situations. They are people also, and at that very smart little people. If parents are unable to resolve conflicts among themselves and with others, how can children learn how to resolve conflicts? More importantly, if we are unable to resolve internal conflicts, they too will have difficulty with their own internal conflicts. Remembering that I am in the role of the “school teacher” who has been entrusted the upbringing, well-being and balanced education of God’s little children has helped me deal with my personal shortcomings when dealing with the abundance of stimuli in my life. We cannot change the challenges that are dealt to us, but we as parents must respond in the way we would want our kids to respond when they’re faced with similar challenges.

Personal Independence: I left home at age of 16 thinking I was fully independent. Fortunately, others around me understood how much help I really needed and were there to help. After our beautiful wedding, I thought I was independent until my wife and I had to deal with a few major projects together including establishing a sound foundation for our family. I then thought I was independent as long as I had her. At least, together we could be independent. This lasted until we had our first child and needed all kinds of help from the first day. Now more than ever I realize how little the word “independence” means at least when it comes to our relationships with others in our daily life.

Symbiosis by *one-dryad

Independence of thought is a slightly different matter. While our thoughts also depend on information, exchanges, relationships, our experiences, our beliefs and everything in our life, I believe being able to independently view facts and arrive at our own conclusions is important. This can only take place when we value our place in the world, value ourselves enough to recognize that our own existence can enrich the lives of others. Therefore, value yourself, think independently, but rely on others and allow them to rely on you.

Organizational Independence: My company has customers who are also our competitors. We have suppliers who are also our fierce competition. Every day thousands of companies help us in every function of our organization. It is hard to imagine how an organization could be completely self-reliant and independent of others. After all, it operates in multiple interconnected ecosystems. It is affected by numerous laws. It has many different constituents. Again, independence is really interdependence. Every organization should become a responsible participant while, of course, maintaining its own independent offering, its value, its unique proposition and raison d’être.

Global Interdependence: No country can survive completely independently in the world today. We trade with other nations, we sell goods, we source raw materials, we exchange ideas, etc. The latest financial crisis is yet another proof. The entire system is so interdependent that stress in one country affects the entire chain.

Endless examples exists of our interdependence at every level. Two types of dependence are the most critical in my life. Fully depending on God’s grace, love, understanding, and guidance in our everyday life is like having blood in our veins. Depending on our spouses, and ensuring they can fully rely on us is what lets us form powerful family cores. So, instead of focusing on raising independent children, perhaps we should help them become responsible, reliable people who can be trusted and relied upon by their spouses, their families, their organizations, their nations, and the world.

Writing is therapeutic. Every day (and especially on difficult days) thinking about an interesting topic and sitting down to write about it has been a blessing. I have enjoyed this process immensely. Being not much of a writer in my school years, I am very excited that this has become an enjoyable hobby.

Days are “empty” quite often but we have the power to change them. Given the nature of my blog, I found it sobering to realize that not every day something worth writing about happens. Some days are full of work, chores, commute… uneventful, uninteresting, unexciting, mundane… This process has forced me to focus on having more interesting days and seeing life in slightly brighter colors.

Write is life by ~AkaneMiyano

Even though I write for my kids (and now for myself), I have realized that being read is all of a sudden very important. Perhaps, it’s the deep need to be understood and accepted. It seems especially important to be understood by family and friends. When I started writing (following the example of a friend), I thought to myself that I didn’t care if anyone read my blog as I was writing for the kids. That didn’t last… I now understand why scientists write in academic journals and get critiqued by peers before their discoveries are accepted.

Newspapers and magazines are nothing but commercial, large scale blogs. I understand them better now. I also understand writers slightly better. I am even more skeptical about authorities on a subject matter. Based on these, my reading (actually sifting) has improved. Most blogs I have come across so far (and also most articles in papers and magazines) are not worth reading (perhaps same goes for this blog).

Expressing personal “new” discoveries, thoughts and lessons and realizing that there is absolutely nothing new in what I write or say has humbled me. I’m reminded daily Ecclesiastes 1:9-11 “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”

Based on this experience, I feel many of us are often guilty of not hearing, when hearing not listening, when listening not understanding, when understanding not caring enough, when caring enough not acting, when acting not finishing, when leaving unfinished not apologizing… Introspection is a powerful way of adjusting our compasses for the days yet to come.

Writing my posts, sometimes I’m terrified of raising children like thousands out there who read sensationalized garbage and leave uninteresting comments simply to drive traffic to their own web sites so they can increase their advertising revenue. What’s the point… Have we learned nothing over thousands of years of civilization? Ecclesiastes 1:9-11 comes to mind again…

I have learned that we’re really FAR TOO BUSY. Years ago, during a stroll around the Wellesley College lake with my friend (later my best friend and now my beautiful wife), I noticed that she was walking faster than I. We purposely tried to slow down and enjoy every step. Years later I find that I would probably walk even faster now… slowing down only recently to reflect and write a few lines.

My blog design and its content reflect who I am. I could not accept any cluttered designs, any advertisements, and unworthy automated or generated content. I also could not write about trendy topics, news, or anything unrelated to daily experiences or thoughts.

With the fear to have a post that’s too long, I’ll stop here. The lessons and the experiences are far too many. I’d recommend this to everyone!

PS. If you came to this page expecting tips on how to increase the traffic to your web site, I’m sorry to have disappointed you.

Hello. by ~rapidvision

I read Random thoughts by a childhood friend where one of the sentences caused me to pause for a minute and think. The thought that caused me to stop was “… why would I never tell my closest people some of the things I write here.” How else can we be close with those closest to us if we are not able to share all our thoughts and feelings? This reminded me of a lesson learned when I was maybe eleven or twelve.

Two of my aunts lived in Georgia and we were there for a visit. My brother and I were walking with our cousin (he passed away a few years ago) to his apartment. It was dark outside, probably around ten or eleven at night. It was a clear night. Next to apartment buildings there were usually places with tables and chairs, maybe a roof for people to gather, play cards, or talk (the Russian word for these spots literally translated means small conversation). So, as we got closer to one of these areas, I noticed half a dozen men gathered around a table. My cousin, perhaps by instinct, said hello in Georgian, loud enough to be heard. We kept walking. I heard no response and a few steps later had to ask him why didn’t they say hello back? Again as if by instinct, he said “I don’t know, I said my hello.” These words have stuck with me ever since.

I try to say my “hello” whenever I can and every time I do I remember that walk. It is strange how small experiences that sometimes last an instant end up with us for a lifetime. Sharing what I write with people close to me is my way of saying my “hello.” Whether they’ll read or respond is really up to them. Over the past few months, I have told a number of people about this site. I’m surprised that people who I thought would read every post, do not read any and people who I thought would never read anything, read quite frequently. The big question in my mind is whether the two little angels to whom my life is now dedicated will ever read what I write here now. Responding to my friend, I could not share with my kids (people closest to me) what I write for they are still little. There are many reasons why we are not able to tell our closest people what we think but I’ll still say my “hello” just as often as I get a chance… Who knows maybe someday I’ll hear a response.

Music by ~Hallucination-Walker

This principle has been used for ages by rulers of all types. For example, there are many patriotic songs (in cultures I know) about the homeland. Although they may have been created because of people’s urge to express their love toward their country, I believe it is also likely that they were created to inspire and influence rather than express at least in some cases. I call this music with an agenda. The same applies to every other form of art. Knowing this why not take advantage of it? Let’s say you’re really tired and haven’t slept all night and are barely moving around. Try a few nice happy, fast songs that make you want to get up and dance and notice if that makes any difference. The opposite is also true (classical or quiet music for relaxing). Because of the feedback loops, I have stopped watching TV because I recognized that there is little positive stimuli coming out of the TV box.

The examples are endless and even though you may be tempted to feed your mood, take a moment and think about it. In my first few years away from home, I missed my family very much in some cases feeling physical pain from homesickness. One day my friend sent me a CD of sad songs all related to longing. For a few weeks I could not stop listening to these songs and missing my family and friends even more. This is not constructive and not something I would do today.

One final note is that creative work also has a feedback loop. This is a lesson I’m learning as I write my humble little articles for this blog. Thinking about them is also a form of stimuli and in this case I’m using it to my advantage to improve who I am.