Torch by ~nibbia

Last Sunday was a խաշ event at a friend’s house. This meal is not an ordinary meal but the one at his house was even more special. It was his son’s birthday but that’s not the only reason it was special. My high school friend graduated from MIT and left the Boston area for many years before coming back here a couple of years ago. The meal was also special because I left feeling very happy to see them in their nice home, established, with many local friends. Two or three weeks ago I had a similar feeling of satisfaction and deep gratitude to God for my brother’s success in establishing his family in this foreign land.

Last week I was also touched by a couple experiences at my friend’s place. Our friend who is a Bentley professor thought that given my experience and background, I should apply to Harvard or MIT to study for a PhD (she was probably being nice but it was touching). I believe I will enjoy teaching at a university as a way of growing and giving back but that’s a long journey. The first step was a conversation with her for which I was very thankful. It’s now up to me to try which I will do after teaching a course or two as adjunct faculty (assuming someone thinks I deserve such an opportunity). The second touching experience was an offer to join his company from another friend who has been making a living from his software business (shameless plug for a good personal finance software). He seemed quite serious and although I was extremely touched that he thought it was worth a try, unfortunately I had to decline.

Today something unexpected happened at church. In order to run the annual assembly where the parish needed to elect four new members to the parish council, eight candidates were needed. When asked last week, I agreed certainly willing to invest and give back to the church and our small but vibrant Armenian community. I did not expect that people would actually elect me. Now I am truly humbled by the experience and already feeling the weight of the responsibility to help carry forward the torch passed on by generations of upstanding Armenians to preserve our faith, our culture and all the good which makes us Armenians. I hope in hindsight they will be happy to have elected me and plan to earn that through giving of myself, growing personally in the process.

As if that was not enough, I stumbled upon this video where the son of our priest is conducting his high school choir. The song’s title is “Holy, Holy”.

confusion by ~dekert

I just noticed that it has been over a year since my last post. The past year has certainly not been uneventful. Quite the opposite… Family is doing well; work is going fine; life is beautiful. On the surface everything is exactly as hoped and wished. I am thankful for that.

Below the surface strange tectonic shifts seem to be causing some confusion, fuzziness, and dizziness. I have not written because of the strange but complete realization that there is nothing(?) new under the sun. Even the unique experiences of the past year seem common and unworthy of mentioning in this blog with the word legacy in its title. The world seems irrational, the markets all over the place… Confusion for me is an unusual feeling and hopefully only a temporary visitor. I am still the same person, organized, with razor-sharp focus on achieving goals long and short term, ready and able to work very hard to get there. Or am I? Has something changed causing me to doubt that those goals and achievements matter? The drop of water in the Pacific or the tiny plankton in the Atlantic probably matters far more. But then again, maybe we all have our exact place in the great machinery of the universe existing to lift a lever or say a word at exactly the right time for some other lever to be lifted or pushed according to some predetermined path completely beyond our comprehension. Does the tiny spec of sand ask questions when the great winds take it from place to place in the desert? Does it even matter where exactly we are in this vast desert?

Then I wake myself up with the thought that even these thoughts don’t matter. Let’s just get back to work, back to living, back to raising kids and back on with our lives. Today was a great day, tomorrow will be another.

This video of one of the greatest poets of all time Paruyr Sevak says everything that must be said. What else can I write to add to what he has already said.

What else does one add to the countless books already written and (in this digital age) pages written every day. There is perhaps the unique experience shared with a special one or with those we hold dear and close to our hearts. But then what does one write about those experiences. A look here, a smile there, a funny word – turn that into a post – a post of legacy.

Bike: with note by ~plasket

My son rides his bicycle to school on nice days. He got it as a present from his grandparents. One Friday a few weeks ago he had to leave the bike at school overnight. When we went to get it on Saturday, the bicycle was gone. I stood there thinking who would steal a kid’s bike from an elementary school bike rack… but then thought this was a good lesson for all of us to take care of our belongings.

My wife diligently followed up with reports to the school and the town police in case someone spotted the bike. She also posted a description with a number to call in a few areas nearby the school. A couple weeks later, Mr. G., the crossing guard, told her that some forces were at work regarding the bicycle and that he had a good feeling that something good would happen. She thought he meant that someone had an idea where the bike was left.

Another week went by and we received the following e-mail:

“Dear …,

Please bring your son’s bike helmet to school this afternoon.

There is a surprise for him at the bike rack.

The combination is …

His friends at school.”

Mr. G. and we don’t have a clue who else had bought my son a new bicycle. Expecting absolutely nothing in return, they had taught him, us and all his little buddies at school one of the most powerful lessons in life. My wife and I were completely speechless.

While we could have probably bought him a new bicycle, there is no way we could have given him such a powerful memory to cherish for a lifetime. The blessing of giving and the blessing of a community that cares are the building blocks of this great country. For days I have been remembering those who gave me what I could have never earned myself at the time when I needed their help the most. Just as I will never forget what they did for me, I hope my son will never forget that his new bicycle came from the goodness of our neighbors’ hearts.

Ես իմ անուշ Հայաստանի արևահամ բարն եմ սիրում,
Մեր հին սազի ողբանվագ, լացակումած լարն եմ սիրում,
Արնանման ծաղիկների ու վարդերի բույրը վառման,
Ու Նայիրյան աղջիկների հեզաճկուն պա՛րն եմ սիրում։

Սիրում եմ մեր երկինքը մուգ, ջրերը ջինջ, լիճը լուսե,
Արևն ամռան ու ձմեռվա վիշապաձայն բուքը վսեմ,
Մթում կորած խրճիթների անհյուրընկալ պատերը սև
Ու հնամյա քաղաքների հազարամյա քա՛րն եմ սիրում։

Ուր է՛լ լինեմ – չե՛մ մոռանա ես ողբաձայն երգերը մեր,
Չե՜մ մոռանա աղոթք դարձած երկաթագիր գրքերը մեր,
Ինչքան էլ սո՜ւր սիրտս խոցեն արյունաքամ վերքերը մեր -
Էլի՛ ես որբ ու արնավառ իմ Հայաստան – յա՛րն եմ սիրում։

Իմ կարոտած սրտի համար ո՛չ մի ուրիշ հեքիաթ չկա․
Նարեկացու, Քուչակի պես լուսապսակ ճակատ չկա․
Աշխա՛րհ անցի՛ր, Արարատի նման ճերմակ գագաթ չկա․
Ինչպես անհաս փառքի ճամբա՝ ես իմ Մասիս սա՛րն եմ սիրում։

Ararat - shot from plane by ~vardart78

My beautiful wife had made arrangements for an amazing evening at an absolutely fantastic event organized by the Aramas Art Alliance and the Armenian Society of Boston. A group of young musicians from the Sayat Nova School of Music in Armenia and the Sayat Nova Dance Company of Boston performed this and many other songs, music and dances.

Here’s a classical version of the poem as a song. Here’s another more modernized version.

On the last six lines, I had to work hard to conceal the tears coming to my eyes. I listen to many kinds of international songs and music but only Armenian songs and poems have that certain power over my emotions.

Five years after coming to America, my childhood friend from California sent me a CD of Armenian songs. After listening to the first couple songs, I got that proverbial pit of կարոտ in my stomach. I called my parents and cried for 30 minutes at $1 per minute.

The kids that performed tonight deserved more than the standing ovation that they received. Theirs is our future as a people!

Debate by ~REGGDIS

Last week I was in the UK for work, first time in that country. Work went perfectly but from the moment I stepped into that country, I was flooded with strange thoughts and new impressions.

“Why have you come here?” asked the passport checkpoint official.

“For work.”

“What is the nature of your work?” he continued in a very polite tone. A few more questions…

“Where will you go after your 5 days stay?” he asked.

“Home… back to the USA,” I responded.

“Welcome to the UK.”

For the rest of the trip to the hotel, I was thinking about my last sentence “home… back to the USA.” A stranger in a strange country in a strange world, I was going to go home… that mystical place that has a special meaning for every Armenian.

Everyone extremely polite. Everything running perfectly on time. Discussion of austerity measures and restraint in government spending. What was it about these people that allowed them to conquer the world? Why am I writing in their language?

Vatican. Concentrate so much wealth in 100 acres. Wealth of the highest caliber. Statue of a king, viscount, or another lord or a street named after one. Systems everywhere, lots of systems. Driving on the wrong side of the road. Fish and chips… great fish and chips.

One morning, jet lagged I sat there working and listening to a debate on TV on how they could cut government spending. What a healthy debate! In the US, we are growing governments.

On the way back, I read Walden almost the entire time.

“Books must be read as deliberately and reservedly as they were written. It is not enough even to be able to speak the language of that nation by which they are written, for there is a memorable interval between the spoken and the written language, the language heard and the language read. The one is commonly transitory, a sound, a tongue, a dialect merely, almost brutish, and we learn it unconsciously, like the brutes, of our mothers. The other is the maturity and experience of that; if that is our mother tongue, this is our father tongue, a reserved and select expression, too significant to be heard by the ear, which we must be born again in order to speak.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

How much I have to grow up to perceive the world at this level, let alone be able to write anything that “must be read as deliberately and reservedly…” How much we Armenians must endure to begin understanding how the world works. The books have been written in English. The maps have been written in English. For us they have also been written in Russian, in Turkish, and in every other language, old and new. We need to stop being the only ones reading our own books and drowning in our own tears. Maybe we need to be born again. Maybe we need to learn their father tongue. How else can we expect to have any influence when we are not even in the room, let alone sitting at the table where our fate is determined. Are we the spoken word, “transitory” in the timeline of the human civilization?

Two songs come to mind. The first is a revolutionary song – a lullaby, a beautiful contradiction still beyond my understanding. The second is the song called Cilicia.

Sunday after I was back, I went to church where I found new liturgy books. They’re in two languages, English and Hinglish. Hinglish is a strange language. It’s the Classical Armenian written with English letters. An Armenian born and raised outside Armenia is fortunate if he or she speaks some dialect of the language (somewhere I read that about 1500 words were needed). That Armenian is a minority if he or she can read and write in Armenian. There are probably a handful who have studied and understand the Classical Armenian. For whom is the weekly Divine Liturgy service? Is Hinglish the best we can do? Does it even please God when we worship him without understanding what we say.

How about we improve the Divine Liturgy, write it in the best of our father tongue, in nice big beautiful Armenian letters and hope that it’s read and sung as “deliberately and reservedly” as it’s written. This may also please the Creator. I’ll stop dreaming. For now, let’s have  a healthy debate about this and perhaps we will understand why I write in English.

Network Connections by phoenixkeyblack

Last February I wrote the following but left it as draft for some reason.

Last year I was able to connect with my classmates and childhood friends at the Russian Odnoklassniki.ru which some claim is used by successors of the KGB to keep tabs on overseas connections of Russians and others. Before that I signed up for LinkedIn hoping to never lose contact with colleagues. Then came Facebook for yet a few more friends and relatives. Some time has passed and I can see the usefulness of these “social networks” but while they all have continually improved their user interfaces and the network sizes, they have failed in one area. They can all list the connections but so far I have not been able to find one that tries to gauge the strength of the relationship.

Is it fair to treat all relationships the same? The best we have evolved to is grouping of relationships (friends, coworkers, close friends, etc.). Whoever unlocks the method of gauging the strength of the relationship will have discovered the next generation of social networking. Who is in a position to do this? Not the Facebooks and LinkedIns of this world, IMHO. I would place companies like Apple and Google on the map along with Verizons and AT&Ts but even these will have quite a struggle. A light read of the interpersonal relationships page will help understand the magnitude of the challenge.

Not all parent-child relationships are the same just as not all marriages are created equal. These are the easy ones. LinkedIn Outlook Toolbar will scan one’s e-mail to suggest contacts (based on numbers of e-mails exchanged). Does having frequent contact with someone result in a stronger relationship than having very infrequent contact? Is it even possible to quantify and digitize something as complex as human relationships? I think it is but will require capture and analysis of even more information.

Capture of on-screen (technology based) information is easier (and Googles, Apples and Verizons may be able to do that). The really hard part is the capture of the wink, the nod, or the smile that can make or break someone’s day. How about computing the trustworthiness and reliability of someone? I guess we are able to compute credit scores… but wait these are based on transactions. So maybe we can capture transactional relationships but what about the transformational ones (completely outside of systems)?

Sometime ago I wrote this post. I had no idea that Apple was working on the iPad. Perhaps someone out there is spending their days, weeks, and years trying to decode that which we value most – our relationships. I just hope the KGB doesn’t get a hold of that technology…

Old Times by *Healzo

Today was the graduation/promotion day for children of Armenian and Sunday schools at our church. I sat in the back enjoying the whole event and thinking about the difficult challenge of maintaining an Armenian community and culture far from Armenia. Some of the children have Armenian first and last names, others only have the last names, and some have neither. Some are bilingual, others speak English only and are getting introduced to Armenian through the Armenian school. This diversity also reflects the overall church parish with first, second, and even third generation Armenians, many with non-Armenian spouses or themselves children of mixed marriages. Thankfully, the church family has a wonderful accepting atmosphere of love, friendship and fellowship. But the question of survival of that which uniquely identifies us remains as relevant as ever.

Also this week I read an article about the oldest leather shoe discovery in Armenia. From the oldest shoe to often being an old-shoe, what do Armenians have and what can Armenians do to preserve and enhance what Armenians have? The basics are our religion, the spoken language, our cuisine, the annual habits and traditions. These we seem to maintain more or less. Unfortunately, it takes enormous efforts to maintain and pass along the basics. Many families do not have an Armenian church nearby and must travel miles to get to one. We speak Armenian at home but our son would rather answer in English (extremely painful for me personally). We cook Armenian foods but even those are under constant attack and argument about actual origin, the real recipe, etc. If the basics are challenging, conversation about the complexities is meaningless.

For example, how does an Armenian mother raise a daughter with the same strong family devotion and sacrifice qualities in this individualistic, self-centered culture where over half of marriages result in a divorce? What qualities would it require to raise children who not only spoke but also read and wrote freely in Armenian? What gargantuan effort would it take to teach these children enough of the language for them to actually understand the literature? And would it even be possible for them to contribute to that literature? So even if we are able to get through the simple and complex challenges, what do we do for our children to repeat the process for another generation? Is the problem completely hopeless when only one spouse is of Armenian descent? Each family struggles in its own ways with these issues. Unfortunately, the kids grow up to struggle themselves as they try to establish families in the context of their bi-cultural upbringing.

Perhaps the answer is in our struggle. While we may disagree how a word should be pronounced or what the right way to make խորոված (Armenian BBQ) is, we all share the burden of our historical struggles and sufferings. Why not unite around our current struggle to preserve and enhance our culture and use that as the single source of agreement even when we disagree about everything else. Second, we need to ask and learn from our Jewish friends who have persevered despite their distance from a homeland and despite their struggles. While books could be written about the differences between the Holocaust and the Armenian Genocide, the struggle of survival after devastation of that magnitude with majority of people living outside the homeland is certainly something we have in common.

Do we (Armenians living outside Armenia) have more in common with other cultures (or the current host culture) than we do with one another? What about a generation later? It is fascinating to see a different struggle (whether a set of schools in Armenia should be converted to be completely foreign language based) evolve in the homeland where they seem to be oblivious to these issues.

Mac-Man by ~blindguard

Every couple years I take stock of the latest developments in computer operating systems. It helps me get an overview of  innovations in computer technology and get up-to-speed in terms of what the “world” considers important for computers. Here are my impressions.

Apple and Google have done a lot to change the way we (the world) view computers and their roles in our lives. Apple’s operating system Mac OS X is elegant in simplicity and power. As a newbie I was able to get it up and running quickly (on an iMac) and within days felt right at home with advanced tasks available on Unix-like systems. From concepts like disk partitioning and file synchronization to simple tasks like chatting on Skype and syncing contacts, the whole system is designed to simplify life. Google has done the same with e-mail, pictures, searches, maps and many other areas, all in an effort to simplify life. In case of Google, the services are “free” but the motives are unclear (outside the obvious ad business). Apple does not suffer from this but has a high premium for its products (which warrant every penny when compared with the competition, IMHO). One could argue that while these companies have simplified our life in some ways, they have indirectly increased the demands placed on our time but this is for a separate discussion (some hints in Technological Revolution).

Microsoft changed our lives in the last couple decades. Windows Vista was a total disappointment. Windows 7 is much better and is probably the best Windows yet. Amazingly, most people I know (including myself) still use Windows XP. Many programs I use have a hard time running on 64-bit Windows 7. It consumes a lot of memory (for what?) and still has quite a few areas to improve. The simplicity of Windows 2003 was more acceptable but that was a server operating system (with a high price tag). Why Microsoft is all over the place is hard to understand but the results will eventually show it.

Linux has come a long way. I tried Ubuntu 9.10 and 10.04, Fedora 12 and 13, Debian 5.04, Oracle Enterprise Linux 5, and a few others. Of these I like the install of Fedora 13 and the usability of Ubuntu 9.10. Apple’s OS X is a far more polished Unix variant than all of these. What’s amazing about the Linux world is the global community’s efforts to enhance it and the corporate efforts to milk it, all with good intentions. It will be a while before these become mainstream enough to displace Microsoft and Apple. A simple task of getting Skype to work took quite a bit of research and modification of runtime parameters, for example. Apple knows this and requires its Unix variant OS X to run on its hardware. Try to run OS X on anything else and Linux will look like piece of cake.

A few other operating systems support their stated goals well but since most of us do not interact with them directly we often do not even know that they exist. Solaris, for example, is solid but is made for business servers. RedHat and Suse have their versions of enterprise Linux servers. There are the BSDs, and many others. While these may run systems that help change our lives, they do not directly change our perceptions about computers and their roles.

A lot has changed from a decade ago but the players seem to be the same. The question is whether a new player will emerge in this space to completely change the game. What disruptive innovation will completely displace all of these operating systems in the same way that these have displaced the prior generations (CP/M, DOS, VMS, so many more)? Will the inventions be in hardware land or incremental improvements on what we have today? Pages could be written on this topic, but let me stop here for now.

empty by ~Kosmur

The past few months have been extremely difficult and busy. My new product hit the market last month. The effort required to “give birth” to something new is absolutely incredible; the process is exciting and also exhausting. But as usual, the release brings with it a feeling of emptiness from an achieved objective. Fortunately when it comes to work, there is no end in sight. Plenty of new goals are waiting to be achieved.

A couple weeks ago, some blogger out there sent a lot of traffic my way with the following comment: “Some people will set up blogs for bizarre, individualistic reasons. This pretentious douche thinks of his blog as his gift to his children. Sorry dude, I bet they’d rather have a Wii.” I wasn’t going to dignify his words with a response. But he’s only the tool, the stimulus for further thought. The response is not meant for him.

Some will call names, crucify publicly or in private, harass, persecute, put down, and ridicule people that they don’t understand, in every case highlighting their own weakness, fear, or lack of self-confidence. Even good, confident, strong people sometimes become weak and engage in name calling. “That idiot has no idea how to drive!” “Obama is pure evil!” When we can do little to affect a situation, we vent. Some are evil and attack to evoke a response. They become surprised when their attack is read and the exact opposite of “expected” response is given. This usually puts them in a position of severe weakness (which brings forward further attacks).

I must have hit a nerve a year and half ago saying that I was not writing to make money. My posts may be worth nothing (which is most likely the case) but at least the site is not packed with Google ads asking readers to click on “relevant” links. The blogger somewhere boasted that he was making about $20 from each post. I would rather my posts were worth $0 than $20, a concept he’s likely to misunderstand. I said that this was my gift to my children. This earned his ridicule and a “wise suggestion” to get them a Wii instead. He doesn’t realize that my 7-year-old son will probably buy his own Wii by Christmas, of course if that’s how he chooses to spend his hard-saved dollars and gifts from the tooth fairy.

In some ways people are like airplanes cruising at different altitudes and speeds. He’s jetting and spreading money smarts from high altitudes at high speeds, has many readers, and even earns $20 for every post. I’ll continue riding my little bicycle and believing that some day those who matter will value these scribbles.

teatro alla scala by ~di-a-na

Walking into Teatro alla Scala brought back childhood memories pushed away and almost forgotten. We would gather around at the playground at the observatory. We talked about different things and imagined the world that we didn’t have. In the summer, we would stay out past midnight, looking at the stars, talking, thinking, being children. We must have been no more than ten or twelve at the time. (I wonder what my kids will remember about their childhood.)

One of us whose grandparents were from Serbia seemed to have more interaction with the outside world and liked to talk about culture that we could only try to imagine. She would say that the best opera was La Traviata and the best place to see it was the La Scala. Impressionable kids… we had no idea what La Scala, or La Traviata were. We thought that since we were so inseparable, we would always remain together sharing in each others lives. Who would have thought we would end up so scattered around the world…

The walk toward the castle brought forth thoughts of experiences being completely meaningless unless they were shared. Travel has been a chore for me recently but I only feel this way about business travel. If I were here with my beautiful wife instead, the place would take on a whole new meaning. If one thinks of life as a bank account, this trip is a withdrawal. The “account” has a negative balance because the last few months have been almost completely devoted to work … work that in a few years will appear meaningless in the rear-view mirror as our good friend recently reminded me.

Next week’s surgery is almost a blessing in disguise since I’ll get to stay home and be closer to those who matter most without the constant barrage of the urgent and unimportant of this life.