confusion by ~dekert

I just noticed that it has been over a year since my last post. The past year has certainly not been uneventful. Quite the opposite… Family is doing well; work is going fine; life is beautiful. On the surface everything is exactly as hoped and wished. I am thankful for that.

Below the surface strange tectonic shifts seem to be causing some confusion, fuzziness, and dizziness. I have not written because of the strange but complete realization that there is nothing(?) new under the sun. Even the unique experiences of the past year seem common and unworthy of mentioning in this blog with the word legacy in its title. The world seems irrational, the markets all over the place… Confusion for me is an unusual feeling and hopefully only a temporary visitor. I am still the same person, organized, with razor-sharp focus on achieving goals long and short term, ready and able to work very hard to get there. Or am I? Has something changed causing me to doubt that those goals and achievements matter? The drop of water in the Pacific or the tiny plankton in the Atlantic probably matters far more. But then again, maybe we all have our exact place in the great machinery of the universe existing to lift a lever or say a word at exactly the right time for some other lever to be lifted or pushed according to some predetermined path completely beyond our comprehension. Does the tiny spec of sand ask questions when the great winds take it from place to place in the desert? Does it even matter where exactly we are in this vast desert?

Then I wake myself up with the thought that even these thoughts don’t matter. Let’s just get back to work, back to living, back to raising kids and back on with our lives. Today was a great day, tomorrow will be another.

This video of one of the greatest poets of all time Paruyr Sevak says everything that must be said. What else can I write to add to what he has already said.

What else does one add to the countless books already written and (in this digital age) pages written every day. There is perhaps the unique experience shared with a special one or with those we hold dear and close to our hearts. But then what does one write about those experiences. A look here, a smile there, a funny word – turn that into a post – a post of legacy.

Ես իմ անուշ Հայաստանի արևահամ բարն եմ սիրում,
Մեր հին սազի ողբանվագ, լացակումած լարն եմ սիրում,
Արնանման ծաղիկների ու վարդերի բույրը վառման,
Ու Նայիրյան աղջիկների հեզաճկուն պա՛րն եմ սիրում։

Սիրում եմ մեր երկինքը մուգ, ջրերը ջինջ, լիճը լուսե,
Արևն ամռան ու ձմեռվա վիշապաձայն բուքը վսեմ,
Մթում կորած խրճիթների անհյուրընկալ պատերը սև
Ու հնամյա քաղաքների հազարամյա քա՛րն եմ սիրում։

Ուր է՛լ լինեմ – չե՛մ մոռանա ես ողբաձայն երգերը մեր,
Չե՜մ մոռանա աղոթք դարձած երկաթագիր գրքերը մեր,
Ինչքան էլ սո՜ւր սիրտս խոցեն արյունաքամ վերքերը մեր -
Էլի՛ ես որբ ու արնավառ իմ Հայաստան – յա՛րն եմ սիրում։

Իմ կարոտած սրտի համար ո՛չ մի ուրիշ հեքիաթ չկա․
Նարեկացու, Քուչակի պես լուսապսակ ճակատ չկա․
Աշխա՛րհ անցի՛ր, Արարատի նման ճերմակ գագաթ չկա․
Ինչպես անհաս փառքի ճամբա՝ ես իմ Մասիս սա՛րն եմ սիրում։

Ararat - shot from plane by ~vardart78

My beautiful wife had made arrangements for an amazing evening at an absolutely fantastic event organized by the Aramas Art Alliance and the Armenian Society of Boston. A group of young musicians from the Sayat Nova School of Music in Armenia and the Sayat Nova Dance Company of Boston performed this and many other songs, music and dances.

Here’s a classical version of the poem as a song. Here’s another more modernized version.

On the last six lines, I had to work hard to conceal the tears coming to my eyes. I listen to many kinds of international songs and music but only Armenian songs and poems have that certain power over my emotions.

Five years after coming to America, my childhood friend from California sent me a CD of Armenian songs. After listening to the first couple songs, I got that proverbial pit of կարոտ in my stomach. I called my parents and cried for 30 minutes at $1 per minute.

The kids that performed tonight deserved more than the standing ovation that they received. Theirs is our future as a people!

teatro alla scala by ~di-a-na

Walking into Teatro alla Scala brought back childhood memories pushed away and almost forgotten. We would gather around at the playground at the observatory. We talked about different things and imagined the world that we didn’t have. In the summer, we would stay out past midnight, looking at the stars, talking, thinking, being children. We must have been no more than ten or twelve at the time. (I wonder what my kids will remember about their childhood.)

One of us whose grandparents were from Serbia seemed to have more interaction with the outside world and liked to talk about culture that we could only try to imagine. She would say that the best opera was La Traviata and the best place to see it was the La Scala. Impressionable kids… we had no idea what La Scala, or La Traviata were. We thought that since we were so inseparable, we would always remain together sharing in each others lives. Who would have thought we would end up so scattered around the world…

The walk toward the castle brought forth thoughts of experiences being completely meaningless unless they were shared. Travel has been a chore for me recently but I only feel this way about business travel. If I were here with my beautiful wife instead, the place would take on a whole new meaning. If one thinks of life as a bank account, this trip is a withdrawal. The “account” has a negative balance because the last few months have been almost completely devoted to work … work that in a few years will appear meaningless in the rear-view mirror as our good friend recently reminded me.

Next week’s surgery is almost a blessing in disguise since I’ll get to stay home and be closer to those who matter most without the constant barrage of the urgent and unimportant of this life.

SEUSSICAL - Wheelock Family Theatre

A few years ago, my wife implemented a weekly program of getting over a dozen books from the library for the nightly reading with our children. Periodically, she gets a Dr. Seuss book or two which are truly enjoyable.

Past Sunday, we went with our son to a musical called the Seussical at the Wheelock Family Theatre which brought together many of his stories into a very nice performance. I have already mentioned about the importance of exposing children to the arts but in this case the musical impacted me more than it impacted my son (I think). The stress relief that comes from a couple hours of moving out of this world into a world of art, music, or performance cannot be underestimated.

As a side effect, I was reminded to view the world as a theater in a constant performance; and under the influence contributed this to Daily Speculations.

I will conclude with a wish for the key actors on the world stage to not be concerned with their ratings and rewards as much and consider the impact of their performance on us, the participating audience. Their powerful performance will always be rewarded by history’s everlasting applause.

TOOBS for stock by ~Mydin

I was thinking during my commute how quick the integration of new discoveries is these days. Perhaps it’s another side effect of easy information that new products, new inventions, new processes and new methods are analyzed, internalized, and digested so fast. Take the iPhone, for example. It has been around for a couple years, yet there are thousands of little programs for it already. I am sure that in another year or two, it will be added to the list of ancient technologies such as floppy disk, MS-DOS, short-wave radio, light bulb, screws, wheels, etc. To be sure, most technologies are still in use today but they have been internalized by us to the point where we rarely consider the human efforts, sacrifices, and trials that went into their initial births.

Three thoughts come to mind. First, never give up. It may take years to develop a system, a product, or to study a new force, new genetic mutation, new cancer cell, or write a great book. It may take a lifetime. People may argue, disagree, dismiss your work. They may misunderstand, misrepresent, take credit, discredit what you do. But from my history lessons, nothing major and meaningful was ever born overnight. One thought leads to another, one work makes it feasible to create another. That’s the process of development. What we see in the rear view mirror is the mature internalized, accepted, perfected result of many lifetimes of hard work.

Second, we all have some talents. My father says that great people are born with these special talents. He says although we can go to schools to learn how to write like ՎԱՀԱՆ ՏԵՐՅԱՆ, very few will be gifted with that special fragrance that he breathed into his poetry. Sure, but I also believe we each have our own unique gifts. It is a matter of early discovery and a lifetime of hard work. Again, in hindsight all we see are the jewels left behind by the greats. We do not always see all of the trials, failed attempts, discouragement, disagreements, and the hard work they endured. A classmate from elementary school writes beautiful poetry almost daily (who would have ever expected) but also lives a routine that would seem impossible to most. With God’s gift, and lots of hard work, I can envision a book in the horizon. I am sure it will be anything but easy.

Third, when you make it do not be disappointed when it’s quickly integrated into the civilization or the culture. The new method that was developed after years of hard work may become a standard routine so elementary that is taken for granted and almost forgotten. Sometimes the greatness is not appreciated for a generation or two. Often the impact is profound in many other areas of life not imagined initially. I am thinking of the Internet Protocol, for example.

As for me, I’ll be busy thinking much, learning much, observing much, experiencing much and, of course, expressing much…

Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci

Heavily used machines are considered great when the quality of their output is constant with no statistically significant variances over time. In other words, they consistently produce according to their exact specifications especially long after the end of expected useful life. We, on the other hand, cannot simply maintain good quality in what we produce. We must continuously show improvement in our results (such as progressively advancing resumes, higher levels of education and achievement, etc.)… and many of us do.

Few artists are able to produce top music hits decade after decade. Few authors’ every work is considered a timeless classic. Few portfolio managers can beat their benchmarks through every market while improving against negative factors such as portfolio growth and constantly changing socioeconomic and geopolitical landscapes. Few Olympians maintain record scores for decades. These people represent the tail of a bell curve that’s infinitely approaching zero.

Unfortunately this also applies to companies (and teams, governments, organizations). Few of them have been or will be around for decades and even fewer for centuries. Why should companies be any different, especially given that even with 85% employment, they in aggregate are employing the very large majority of the human bell curve? Why should we expect more from them?

One reason is that they have the advantage of diversification. If each member in a team of five members has only one great product idea, one great initiative, one great article, then the team has potential for five great achievements. Therefore, a company with five such teams has enough potential for twenty five great achievements, products, or services at a minimum. Some companies also have the advantage of hiring top talent in the first place who have the potential to produce far more than one great work over their lifetime. Great companies, with thousands of employees should have thousands of great new accomplishments that should last them for centuries. Especially since their workforces change over time with each change bringing fresh new perspectives and strengths into the mix, they simply have no excuses to arrive at a place where, for example, the US automakers and the financial services companies before them found themselves these days. Maybe it’s a sideeffect of satisfaction with performance that meets or exceeds expectations. Instead, perhaps we should see ourselves and everyone around us as people who are two, or five steps away from the great breakthrough, the achievement of a lifetime, our one (or more) contribution to human progress. I’m sure once we achieve that, we will invariably want to keep going for more…

Different varieties of Lavash sold in Yerevan market

Before I continue my story, I need to tell you about an Armenian cartoon called կախարդական լավաշ which means “the magic lavash (flat bread)”. It gives me great pain that this superb work of art loaded with life’s lessons can only be understood by Armenians. In many ways, my life is the story of the little boy in the cartoon who decides to explore the world to find his destiny. His mother gives him her blessing along with the magic bread which replenishes itself during his journey. I had received $500 from my parents which I used as a security deposit to obtain my first secured credit card. Each time I used the card (my rainy day fund) to buy something, I’d work hard to pay it off and the “lavash” would be whole again. There are many other parallels…

I boarded the jet promising myself to only look forward and came back to live with my American family and attend St. Petersburg College. I will be eternally grateful for everything that they have done for me throughout the years.

My first semester at the community college was about to start but I did not have the tuition money or a way to get back and forth to school. My Armenian “cousin” from Florida without hesitation wrote a check for $1,638.52. I keep the receipt in my valuables along with two other pieces of paper: copy of $500 check from my Armenian friends in Boston (who are now my in-laws) to buy a car to get back and forth to school, and a receipt for $145 from the other Armenian family in Florida for car insurance who also did so much for me in the next few years. I must also mention our high-school friend’s mom (again without mentioning names) who drove me back and forth to school along with my American parents for months until I had a driver’s license and a car. In Independence And Interdependence, when I wrote “others around me understood how much help I really needed and were there to help” I had in mind these and a few other wonderful people.

The first semester at school would have been impossible had it not been for all these folks coming together to help me. My parents were thousands of miles away and had already given me all the money they had.

Today, I do not appreciate hearing anyone say negative opinions about Americans. As far as I am concerned, these people are America, from different backgrounds, different levels of education, different levels of income and wealth, with different values, yet all coming together at a time of need to help a foreign kid stand on his own two feet.

I'm writing u a poem by ~saltyshadow

1. Basic letters and some basic words
2. Understanding sentence construction
3. Learning present, past, future tenses
4. Learning more words toward a stronger vocabulary
5. Reading and comprehension of books, articles, web sites
6. Understanding basic, then clear speech (radio broadcasts, for example)
7. Understanding regular speech, slang, accents, and expressions
8. Where to use “a” vs. “the” (still sometimes  not easy)
9. Understanding songs and jokes
10. Understanding poetry

I must confess that after seventeen years of learning this language, I still do not understand poetry. I understand most of the words in the poems but do not feel connected to the author or the message in the poem. This is not because I don’t like poetry or don’t understand any poetry. Poetry in Armenian is like a soothing melody for the soul. Similar to a fine solo piano piece packed with emotions, feelings, and messages, poetry brings to us in few words that which could be said in volumes.

It is possible that Armenian poetry is so special because of my Armenian heritage and culture. I say this because while I understand poetry in Russian, it does not seem to bring forward as many thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I would not be so arrogant to ever consider that perhaps there’s some special element in Armenian poetry because I have heard others state similar thoughts about English poetry.

Why bring up the subject of poetry in these economic times and times of political change? Because like all art, poetry can help us recharge, reenergize and appreciate that which we always have and that which we still need to discover.

Art is a Creation... by *j00nk1m110

Classical music, paintings, architecture, sculpture, poetry and many other forms of art are simply inspirational to children (and adults). Even though sometimes we may feel that they would not understand art, that could not be further from reality. Art is understood differently by different people. Children internalize art in their own way based on their experiences. This is why it is important to not only expose them to art, but to constantly re-expose them because each time they perceive something new in the same piece of art.

We took our son on a trip to Italy where we visited Florence and Rome. He was 3-4 years old at the time. He experienced probably far more than we did during that trip. He understood the ancient and the new in his own way but even today he often understands new concepts through a reference to something he saw during that trip. It’s about expanding their understanding of the world and art provides a beautiful way to do that. So, it’s never too early or too late to get introduced and re-introduced to the beautiful works left behind by the masters who often saw life in its true colors.