empty by ~Kosmur

The past few months have been extremely difficult and busy. My new product hit the market last month. The effort required to “give birth” to something new is absolutely incredible; the process is exciting and also exhausting. But as usual, the release brings with it a feeling of emptiness from an achieved objective. Fortunately when it comes to work, there is no end in sight. Plenty of new goals are waiting to be achieved.

A couple weeks ago, some blogger out there sent a lot of traffic my way with the following comment: “Some people will set up blogs for bizarre, individualistic reasons. This pretentious douche thinks of his blog as his gift to his children. Sorry dude, I bet they’d rather have a Wii.” I wasn’t going to dignify his words with a response. But he’s only the tool, the stimulus for further thought. The response is not meant for him.

Some will call names, crucify publicly or in private, harass, persecute, put down, and ridicule people that they don’t understand, in every case highlighting their own weakness, fear, or lack of self-confidence. Even good, confident, strong people sometimes become weak and engage in name calling. “That idiot has no idea how to drive!” “Obama is pure evil!” When we can do little to affect a situation, we vent. Some are evil and attack to evoke a response. They become surprised when their attack is read and the exact opposite of “expected” response is given. This usually puts them in a position of severe weakness (which brings forward further attacks).

I must have hit a nerve a year and half ago saying that I was not writing to make money. My posts may be worth nothing (which is most likely the case) but at least the site is not packed with Google ads asking readers to click on “relevant” links. The blogger somewhere boasted that he was making about $20 from each post. I would rather my posts were worth $0 than $20, a concept he’s likely to misunderstand. I said that this was my gift to my children. This earned his ridicule and a “wise suggestion” to get them a Wii instead. He doesn’t realize that my 7-year-old son will probably buy his own Wii by Christmas, of course if that’s how he chooses to spend his hard-saved dollars and gifts from the tooth fairy.

In some ways people are like airplanes cruising at different altitudes and speeds. He’s jetting and spreading money smarts from high altitudes at high speeds, has many readers, and even earns $20 for every post. I’ll continue riding my little bicycle and believing that some day those who matter will value these scribbles.

teatro alla scala by ~di-a-na

Walking into Teatro alla Scala brought back childhood memories pushed away and almost forgotten. We would gather around at the playground at the observatory. We talked about different things and imagined the world that we didn’t have. In the summer, we would stay out past midnight, looking at the stars, talking, thinking, being children. We must have been no more than ten or twelve at the time. (I wonder what my kids will remember about their childhood.)

One of us whose grandparents were from Serbia seemed to have more interaction with the outside world and liked to talk about culture that we could only try to imagine. She would say that the best opera was La Traviata and the best place to see it was the La Scala. Impressionable kids… we had no idea what La Scala, or La Traviata were. We thought that since we were so inseparable, we would always remain together sharing in each others lives. Who would have thought we would end up so scattered around the world…

The walk toward the castle brought forth thoughts of experiences being completely meaningless unless they were shared. Travel has been a chore for me recently but I only feel this way about business travel. If I were here with my beautiful wife instead, the place would take on a whole new meaning. If one thinks of life as a bank account, this trip is a withdrawal. The “account” has a negative balance because the last few months have been almost completely devoted to work … work that in a few years will appear meaningless in the rear-view mirror as our good friend recently reminded me.

Next week’s surgery is almost a blessing in disguise since I’ll get to stay home and be closer to those who matter most without the constant barrage of the urgent and unimportant of this life.

A Safe Flight Home by ~Ericana

Last week was devoted to Canada. Fairmont Château Laurier was impressive. The event was executed perfectly. My small piece went better than I had expected. In preparation, I learned a few things about the government in Canada. After the event, in a chat, I learned about a thought that could make everything we’re doing less relevant. I heard about a fear to remain relevant from my management earlier in the week. With these two tokens in place, I couldn’t get the word “relevant” out of my head.

What does it take to remain relevant? In free and advanced societies, these words seem to represent the essence of the battle. The quest to remain relevant brings out the best in us. We innovate, advance, improve and compete to obsolete the status quo. The worst sometimes comes out when we feel we are no longer important. A few weeks ago, someone special mentioned in a passing conversation that she wanted to live as long as she could be helpful. The challenge is that in our different roles as contributors, workers, parents, leaders, we must do everything possible to advance the current state of affairs but at the same time we know progress, innovation, advancement, money do not matter most. Some of us balance this by time division or by life division. Others don’t balance and focus on one set of priorities at the expense of others. Some fruits of labor remain relevant for centuries such as the Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto #2 in F currently playing on my computer. Sometimes we are only relevant for a few minutes. For example, when we give a stranger directions on how to get to where they are heading (the GPS innovation has decreased these opportunities significantly).

On the flight back, exhausted, I put on a set of noise canceling headphones to tune out the jet, and rest the restless mind a bit. The iPhone shuffle played this song:

In that near-perfect silence, this powerful melody somehow transported the tired mind back to what mattered most. My beautiful wife and little ones were waiting for me.

yin yang by ~kristuzhe

I had to drive to Albany to meet with the State of New York folks. The two hour drive each way provides ample time to enjoy the scenery and reflect. For the mathematically inclined, I have an important once in a lifetime date to celebrate on November 16th, 2009. On that day, I will have lived the first half of my life in Armenia, and the second half in America (not counting minor temporary absences) where I arrived on Henry Ford’s 130th birthday. The more time I spend in America, the less I want to go anywhere else. Strange… The more I live in Massachusetts, the less I want to travel to other states. Crossing the border on I-90 to New York seemed like I had entered a different country for some reason.

But I enjoy the ride on I-90 West. It brings back memories of my childhood when we would pretend we were heroes from the The Last of the Mohicans, a story that was what Star Wars is to my son. I feel bad that our children do not have a chance of experiencing a childhood similar to mine but maybe that’s what every parent thinks. The trees, the road, the scenery bring back thoughts of times past when people had to actually survive the harsh winters in these areas without the conveniences of today. How did they manage to do it? Life seems so hard at times yet the early settlers managed to live and with each generation make this country a better place. Then the mind wanders… how many people had to work to build a road like the I-90? How about all the roads in this country? Smooth and flawless, straight, with clear signs they stretch from coast to coast, from state to state. I drive some more and notice houses not too far from the highway. How do these people live? Where do they work? I drive some more and notice the McDonalds plaza. Didn’t I just pass one? Then I start to notice the NPR static, time to find the NY station. Ah.. I forgot that Marketplace is on in the morning here. Gloomy news about the economy, or no wait, it’s good news, no wait… Ah.. forget it.

Every time I drive on a long stretch of highway, I remember my mother. She once mentioned to me how much she liked going on long rides. The only long ride I can remember with her was the trip to New York City. What a wonderful time we had…

I am back now. The meetings went well. Next week I will spend a day and a half flying to Canada to speak for 20 minutes. How does that make any ecological sense?

With 10.2% unemployment, I better go drum up some business. Even if a few folks are hired as a result, maybe it’ll have been worth the effort.

Ara Sarkissian and MUSANER

Last Saturday night we were at an interesting and special concert. Despite all of the efforts of the organizers to advertise to the local Armenian communities, only about sixty to seventy people came and most of them seemed non-Armenian.  I was very disappointed in the Armenian turnout but was very happy that my beautiful wife did not let me miss it. Ara Sarkissian had done a fantastic job organizing the folk-jazz ensemble. To sample some of the most beautiful Armenian sounds you can visit his Komitas Project page. The project is named after the great Armenian composer Soghomon Soghomonyan named Komitas after a poet and author of sharakans from VII century. Some of Komitas’ works can be freely downloaded from here.

Ara Sarkissian’s ensemble with majority non-Armenian musicians played a different kind of jazz, one that intertwined the classical with the modern, the Armenian with the non-Armenian, the simple with the complex, resulting in an absolutely great evening. Of these, the ratio of Armenian to non-Armenian sounds and the contrast between the two reflected life for me. We speak Armenian and English in roughly the same proportion and attend Armenian events and participate in the Armenian culture in a similar mix. The Armenian culture, with a smaller footprint in this country, in the world, and in his concert, nonetheless is very close to heart, special, and necessary for me as it was for his music. Also, Armenian culture can be understood, appreciated and celebrated by many non-Armenians the same way that the melodies were played and celebrated by his non-Armenian musicians. Just as some amount of reality is required in humor, some amount of life is required in art. The concert had a great amount of life and represented a welcome encounter with art.

God by ~SoundArt

In response to a recent post from Jeff Watson, I said “I don’t believe markets can be accurately predicted. I have not yet seen any evidence that proves me wrong and would appreciate learning from those who have access to such science or methods. Markets are not subject to natural laws. My objective is to lose as little purchasing power over time as possible. I have not found a way to accurately [and consistently] predict even a single future price.”

Rocky Humbert, the legendary speculator and curmudgeon, promptly responded with “I tend to agree with you, but your statement as composed could also be applied to the existence of G-d. Based on your blog, I know you to be a man of faith. How does one reconcile (”using science or methods”) the lack of faith in the predictability of markets with a faith in G-d? Or perhaps is this logically consistent?”

I am happy that my faith has come through my previous posts and thank Rocky for asking this question.

1. I have not seen any federal funding for research into existence of God in recent times. Basic science research goes nowhere without massive funding. I certainly do not propose adding yet another line item to the already gargantuan federal budget that the government believes we can finance but how can one begin to answer profound questions without much scientific study? Perhaps this is like living in the second century and trying to prove the existence of electrons and protons and the genome.

2. I have no irrefutable way to prove the existence of God aside from the miracles in my own life. Some of my reasons for having faith in God are documented here. Having faith and having proof are two different matters. Did everything happen a certain way for me by mere coincidence? Some may say that random events can line up perfectly and repeatedly. Others may say that hard work or luck is the cause. I find it easier to believe that an omnipotent God whose reasons I may not understand has arranged everything for a certain purpose. I have no internal struggle about my faith in God despite the lack of scientific verifiable proof.

3. Penn State Clips mentions interesting “Books like Gerald L. Schroeder’s The Science of God: The Convergence of Scientific and Biblical Wisdom, Francis Collins’ The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief, and the various works of Josh McDowell and Lee Strobel.” Then continues with a very nice point “I agree with you that the beauty of nature is, to me, a proof of God’s existence. It strains credulity for me to believe that the beauty and complexity of all of creation came about by chance. And we only get to see the tiny fraction here on Earth!”

4. I believe that market cycles can be understood by humans who take part in such cycles. I also believe that in the long run people will benefit from diversifying their postponed expenditures in different asset classes. Beating the markets every single year or month or quarter or in the long run probably matters little. Furthermore, I have little faith that the current binary computer models can reliably predict the complex interrelationships in ever changing markets. An interesting read may be the uncertainty principle.

5. Since I am not on a mission to prove anyone anything, I can write my thoughts at the current time based on my limited life and experiences. Some may believe that markets are completely predictable and may even be able to “win” with their systems. I wish they will choose to share their “proofs” as those works may become cornerstones of new and amazing human discoveries and progress. Others may feel God’s love and grace are the “opium” the simple ones like me need to get through life. Certainly evolution will not be quick enough in that deep hole at the time of greatest despair or in the moment of amazing joy to revert the species to the mean. When I read what I wrote last year, I laugh. Maybe a year from now I will laugh about this post.

6. I welcome all thoughts, opinions, debates and proofs. I accept everyone the way I hope God will accepts me with all my flaws, opinions, and thoughts.

I realize that this is probably not the rock solid evidence or reconciliation that Rocky may have been expecting but felt it was better to post rather than have it in the draft folder forever.

Modernizing of History 5 by ~forrest-rowell

“So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

What a perfect way to summarize our lives and the world in a single sentence! As self-aware creatures we are capable of recognizing self-deception yet acceptance of it (or even recognition) is rarely visible externally even if it takes place internally. Per Dr. Franklin, I should now attempt to “find or make a reason” for this observation. Actually, let me skip that step this time.

Markets are the best place to observe the “reason” factory in action. Why is something selling for more today than yesterday? Why did one buy or sell something at a particular level? Life is one giant reason factory. From workplace to world politics, from entrepreneurial endeavors to unthinkable acts, we are busy finding or making reasons for everything we do.

Maybe all we can do is hope that we do everything for the right reasons…

Yarmouth Boardwalk by *lutke45

Despite the many negatives, business travel has an amazing way of refocusing the mind on what really matters. In my case, coming home to my beautiful wife and the kids was all I needed to feel normal again. Without realizing, they have a wonderful way of supporting me through my long days of work… days like yesterday (I worked from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning until I went to bed late at night). A hug, a smile, even just their presence can give tremendous amount of energy. This energy was not there in California. Consequently, the concept of base of operations has been front and center for me recently.

I cannot even begin to imagine what it may be like to destroy this unique and powerful “base” during a divorce. Where do people living in broken families get their energy? What about the excruciating pain of a natural disaster tearing up the ground in which we grow? Maybe I came one small step closer in understanding my father who lost his half exactly two years ago. Perhaps it is the coincidence of all these events with the anniversary of my half and I becoming whole that is stirring up all these thoughts.

It is late at night, but I feel like a child who wants to go to bed early on Christmas Eve with great anticipation for the next morning. Tomorrow we get to go on vacation. I get to spend an entire week with people who matter most. Cape Cod is beautiful but only because we will be together.

White Mountain River 1 by *ellensama

After spending a few days in the mountains of the neighboring state with the distinguished motto “Live Free or Die,” we are back to our daily routines. The mountains and the fresh air seem to have certain healing powers… well at least for the mind and the spirit. Spending time with the family was definitely a treat forcing me to count my blessings more than once during the trip. Upon our return, I found the usual giant stack of blog posts, hundreds of e-mails, news articles and the never-ending list of projects waiting for me. One step at a time, one task and project at a time, I’ll get these completed as usual. But why is vacation time so different from non-vacation time?

Ten years ago when we went on vacation, we’d somehow always manage to stay at a place that seemed nicer than our house. It seemed that bringing those amenities or that environment back home would bring the vacation feeling with it. I can confirm that is not the case. We have 26 acres of conservation land with trails in our back yard not unlike the mountains yet we go for walks in the woods maybe half dozen times per year. While my wife and children go to the beach a few times a week during the summer, I somehow end up there maybe once or twice a month. After building everything the way we wanted, we find little time to enjoy everything we have built.

Ten years ago, on the road to Hana I remember pulling over to use a payphone to check on the status of an important client project. Last week free wi-fi and the iPhone made it a challenge to restrain myself from carrying on with daily routines. Ten years ago in St. Thomas, I was reading Ben Franklin’s autobiography, printed book borrowed from our library. This time I was reading the same downloaded for free to the Kindle on the iPhone. Ten years ago we took pictures on regular film while past weekend we took pictures on digital film. Technology has improved so much in the past 10 years. However, somehow it has evolved toward giving us access to non-vacation activities while on vacation. One could say that bringing home digital pictures that we can browse at any time helps remind us of the vacation times during non-vacation times. Overall, I sense that technology has made our vacation and non-vacation times more hectic. This reminds me of the great state’s motto. Is there life these days free from constant interruption, full of serenity, peace, in a place that is relaxing and enjoyable?

I remember really struggling with stress a few years ago to the point I could not fall asleep at night. My wife would gently remind me of a really nice day on one of our trips and somehow those memories would magically transport me from the reality of the day to a time and place that was nothing but happiness. Perhaps the change of routine and scenery is what vacations are all about and by definition vacation time must be different from non-vacation time so we can understand the difference. Maybe vacations are the weekends of our years. Maybe they’re God’s way of lifting and holding onto the crosses we carry for a brief moment to help us rest a bit. Whatever the case may be, even a long weekend away is a good idea once in a while.

A Trip to Karabakh certainly didn’t help. This Georgian movie is terrible (to put it mildly). Old neighbor’s usage of the Armenian struggle as a vehicle for delivering some muddled messages about its own struggle is a repeat of the same old, showcasing its true character. This reminded me yet again how important it is for Armenians in the diaspora to remain united. For example, having two churches in America and in some countries is absolutely not helpful! I hope there is someone in the world who can give me at least one theological argument or one good reason why the two churches should remain separate. May this song remind all Armenians who stumble upon my insignificant corner on the Internet about all that which we share.

Armenians in Armenia will have no issues partaking in a common culture but there are many issues they cannot raise because of the political mess inherited from being situated in that restless corner of the world for thousands of years. But I know that each family and every individual deep down looks upon an extended family member, a friend in the diaspora as a source of support when all else fails.