teatro alla scala by ~di-a-na

Walking into Teatro alla Scala brought back childhood memories pushed away and almost forgotten. We would gather around at the playground at the observatory. We talked about different things and imagined the world that we didn’t have. In the summer, we would stay out past midnight, looking at the stars, talking, thinking, being children. We must have been no more than ten or twelve at the time. (I wonder what my kids will remember about their childhood.)

One of us whose grandparents were from Serbia seemed to have more interaction with the outside world and liked to talk about culture that we could only try to imagine. She would say that the best opera was La Traviata and the best place to see it was the La Scala. Impressionable kids… we had no idea what La Scala, or La Traviata were. We thought that since we were so inseparable, we would always remain together sharing in each others lives. Who would have thought we would end up so scattered around the world…

The walk toward the castle brought forth thoughts of experiences being completely meaningless unless they were shared. Travel has been a chore for me recently but I only feel this way about business travel. If I were here with my beautiful wife instead, the place would take on a whole new meaning. If one thinks of life as a bank account, this trip is a withdrawal. The “account” has a negative balance because the last few months have been almost completely devoted to work … work that in a few years will appear meaningless in the rear-view mirror as our good friend recently reminded me.

Next week’s surgery is almost a blessing in disguise since I’ll get to stay home and be closer to those who matter most without the constant barrage of the urgent and unimportant of this life.

A Trip to Karabakh certainly didn’t help. This Georgian movie is terrible (to put it mildly). Old neighbor’s usage of the Armenian struggle as a vehicle for delivering some muddled messages about its own struggle is a repeat of the same old, showcasing its true character. This reminded me yet again how important it is for Armenians in the diaspora to remain united. For example, having two churches in America and in some countries is absolutely not helpful! I hope there is someone in the world who can give me at least one theological argument or one good reason why the two churches should remain separate. May this song remind all Armenians who stumble upon my insignificant corner on the Internet about all that which we share.

Armenians in Armenia will have no issues partaking in a common culture but there are many issues they cannot raise because of the political mess inherited from being situated in that restless corner of the world for thousands of years. But I know that each family and every individual deep down looks upon an extended family member, a friend in the diaspora as a source of support when all else fails.

Little Boat by ~to-shreds

The year before my mother passed away, she taught my son a song about a little boy and his toy ship. Every time I hear the song (“Im pokrik navak” here), I remember my childhood. I remember my mother and her words here and there that in hindsight seem to all have had a purpose. She would sometimes make a comment about something that seemed irrelevant or unimportant at the time. Looking back those comments were carefully crafted statements about important life issues delivered in the right context at the right time.

I’m sorry to butcher the beauty of the song but feel that even a crude translation is relevant:

Created the little boy
A white paper ship.
He lowered the ship
Onto the waves of the river.

My little ship, my little ship,
Will you reach indeed the blue sea?
My little ship, my little ship,
Will you reach indeed the blue sea?

My little ship, my little ship,
Where are you, where are you going?
Where are they, where are they taking you
The crazy waves of the river?

My little ship, my little ship,
Will you reach indeed the blue sea?
My little ship, my little ship,
Will you reach indeed the blue sea?

The sun disappeared,
Behind the clouds it went.
Rain fell from the sky
And the little river flooded.

My little ship, my little ship,
Did you reach indeed the blue sea?
Or on the way drowned you the wind
And you fell asleep at the bottom of the river?

My little ship, my little ship,
Did you reach indeed the blue sea?
Or on the way drowned you the wind
And you fell asleep at the bottom of the river?

In a conversation with a friend I mentioned that one of my hopes is to live an uneventful and simple life in uninteresting times. In Armenian history every generation has faced some calamity, a disaster, a socioeconomic upheaval, and suffering. I briefly mentioned this here.

Try to plant a seed in a garden. The more fertile the soil, the higher the output of the plant. Disturb the soil or the roots, and risk ending up with a shocked plant. Storms, bugs, and looters can kill even the strongest plants. Fail to harvest, support, and feed the plants, and risk having a poor outcome. People who want to get very rich want to get too much fertilizer in the garden metaphor which can kill a plant. Others who focus on one aspect of life at expense of others (time being limited and constant) choose one type of food in the garden metaphor at the expense of other nutrients resulting in an overly green plant with no fruit, or some other deficiency.

Another friend of mine said that he would go and fight for his country. I said “I hope you never have to make that choice.”

I hope the waves in your life are nothing you cannot handle.

Down is Up... by ~Dsva

I was the summer intern at Eaton Vance, in the Strategic Income Fund team a few summers ago. Taking my job very seriously, I did everything to make sure that my duties were carried out to absolute perfection with attention to every detail. After a few weeks, the team got used to having everything in order; and I realized that I had created a process where I could have a few hours free at the end of every day to ask questions, check the markets, read the hundreds of research papers that came to our group, and learn. I tried to learn as much as I could from this small group of very bright people who managed two mutual funds.

At the end of the summer, I received Victor Niederhoffer’s book The Education of  a Speculator as a farewell gift. In addition to all the wisdom in the book, there are a few notes inside the front cover and the farewell card.

“From one amateur speculator to another…”

“I’m sure you’ll succeed in your American adventure…”

…

“I hope you’ll know what Victor means – come back and visit when you’re rich…”

“I expect you to surpass the achievements of George Sorosanian without cutting corners like Michael Milkenian…”

“Just remember the market could go up or it could go down…”

Over the years, I have often remembered these last three parting wishes. I have not visited them yet and will probably not visit for quite some time. I’m still working on the achievements but having just read The Crisis & What to Do About It by George Soros, I have a long way to go. And there’s not a day (especially today) when I don’t remember the last reminder…

TOOBS for stock by ~Mydin

I was thinking during my commute how quick the integration of new discoveries is these days. Perhaps it’s another side effect of easy information that new products, new inventions, new processes and new methods are analyzed, internalized, and digested so fast. Take the iPhone, for example. It has been around for a couple years, yet there are thousands of little programs for it already. I am sure that in another year or two, it will be added to the list of ancient technologies such as floppy disk, MS-DOS, short-wave radio, light bulb, screws, wheels, etc. To be sure, most technologies are still in use today but they have been internalized by us to the point where we rarely consider the human efforts, sacrifices, and trials that went into their initial births.

Three thoughts come to mind. First, never give up. It may take years to develop a system, a product, or to study a new force, new genetic mutation, new cancer cell, or write a great book. It may take a lifetime. People may argue, disagree, dismiss your work. They may misunderstand, misrepresent, take credit, discredit what you do. But from my history lessons, nothing major and meaningful was ever born overnight. One thought leads to another, one work makes it feasible to create another. That’s the process of development. What we see in the rear view mirror is the mature internalized, accepted, perfected result of many lifetimes of hard work.

Second, we all have some talents. My father says that great people are born with these special talents. He says although we can go to schools to learn how to write like ՎԱՀԱՆ ՏԵՐՅԱՆ, very few will be gifted with that special fragrance that he breathed into his poetry. Sure, but I also believe we each have our own unique gifts. It is a matter of early discovery and a lifetime of hard work. Again, in hindsight all we see are the jewels left behind by the greats. We do not always see all of the trials, failed attempts, discouragement, disagreements, and the hard work they endured. A classmate from elementary school writes beautiful poetry almost daily (who would have ever expected) but also lives a routine that would seem impossible to most. With God’s gift, and lots of hard work, I can envision a book in the horizon. I am sure it will be anything but easy.

Third, when you make it do not be disappointed when it’s quickly integrated into the civilization or the culture. The new method that was developed after years of hard work may become a standard routine so elementary that is taken for granted and almost forgotten. Sometimes the greatness is not appreciated for a generation or two. Often the impact is profound in many other areas of life not imagined initially. I am thinking of the Internet Protocol, for example.

As for me, I’ll be busy thinking much, learning much, observing much, experiencing much and, of course, expressing much…

letters by ~noox

As I mentioned previously, I called my friends in Boston to let them know I was heading to Armenia after a wonderful year in America. They told me that if I had not already booked the tickets, I should fly through Boston and spend a couple days before going back. It sounded like a good idea since I did not know if I would ever see them again. During this detour, I met their daughter (I had no idea they even had kids). I had absolutely no idea that she would become my best friend and my wife a few years later but that’s a topic for another day.

A few days later I arrived in Armenia determined to return to the US to attend college. The US authorities required a valid passport with an exit visa before they would consider my application. Getting the permission to leave Armenia was extremely difficult. I am still disgusted when I remember the effort it took to get that stamp. Armenia is 1/10th of what Armenia was couple thousand years ago exactly because of this. I am convinced that “Կգա մի օր, որ կարթնանա, Ժողովուրդն իմ մոլորված,” but now I pray that the culture does not disappear until then. Losing the beautiful Armenian culture would, after all, fulfill the dreams of those who organized the Armenian Genocide.

After receiving permission to leave Armenia, during my US visa interview, I looked straight in the eyes of the US consul and said in English “According to article … of … Act, you are the only person in the world who can authorize a student visa for me. I have read that you are instructed to reject such applications in almost all cases. I hope the dozen recommendation letters from Americans who got to know me during the past year have given you a sense of my character. Right now you are holding a life in your hand, my life, and all I ask is that you let me go and pursue my dreams.” The conversation took no more than two minutes. Half an hour later, an embassy employee asked for my passport for the visa stamp. I will never forget how I was shaking, I had to grab the embassy fence to remain standing for the next fifteen minutes.

Months later I found out that although a number of kids from the original thirty-two had submitted similar applications, mine was the only one accepted. I was humbled yet again.

I write this to express my deepest gratitude to all those who wrote the letters I mentioned. I have saved these letters as a reminder of where I started and I value them above most material possessions one can have.

The Kid

I recently came across some alarming statistics. Even if they are only 5% correct, it bothers me beyond words to look at them. So, here are a few of my thoughts on parenting.

Every time I hear (or say) the words “my children,” I always remember that children are separate, unique individuals who have their distinct lives. Perhaps it’s the human instinct or some chemistry equation that is responsible for many parents thinking that they “own” their children and some harsh parents “disowning” their children as an act of extreme punishment. Ownership does not apply to children. Why is this so important? This distinction is important because we sometimes ignore, abuse, disregard, and discard the things we own. If we do not like the new set of knives we just purchased, we can take them back to the store and ask for a refund (ultimately we can donate them or throw them away). If the new car does not perform according to specifications, we have warranty repair and the lemon laws. If we’re not happy with the new house we just bought, we can move somewhere else.

We do not own our children. God has entrusted us with their care and proper upbringing. Imagine you take your child to school and later in the day find out that the teacher was disrespectful, unprofessional, or in a milder case not doing a good job teaching. Every good parent would be upset with some becoming outraged. All parents would demand a solution. It is no different when it comes to someone else (God in this case) entrusting us with his children to care for, to do our best to teach, help and respect. They learn what to do by watching what we do. They learn how to feel by studying our feelings. They learn to listen by the way we listen to them. They learn how to be by the way we are. I am saying these things not only from observation of my little ones, but because of my own upbringing. Looking back, I am reminded that I have become a collection of all my experiences, observations, feelings, and thoughts. They too will be. Therefore, it is our responsibility as parents to help them with their journey through experiences, feelings, thoughts, and observations.

This may sound like common sense; however, I have noticed smart, educated, well-raised parents sometimes make critical mistakes. For example, if we hesitate when faced with a decision, even if we believe children do not know or do not understand, they sense our uncertainty and hesitation and learn to hesitate (the “normal” response in their mind) when faced with similar decisions. When faced with a complex decision, one that should make us hesitate and consider all the factors, we cannot rush to judgment because they too will learn to rush to judgment in these cases. If we are unable to love fully, how will they learn how to love? If we are not thankful for what we have, how will they learn to be thankful for what they have? If we break down or explode under stress, they learn that to be the valid response under stress.

Let me make a couple more points. If the two parents respond differently, children receive mixed messages and have to keep testing and retesting to get to the bottom line. If the parents respond incorrectly to the tests and retests, children learn to take advantage of these situations. They are people also, and at that very smart little people. If parents are unable to resolve conflicts among themselves and with others, how can children learn how to resolve conflicts? More importantly, if we are unable to resolve internal conflicts, they too will have difficulty with their own internal conflicts. Remembering that I am in the role of the “school teacher” who has been entrusted the upbringing, well-being and balanced education of God’s little children has helped me deal with my personal shortcomings when dealing with the abundance of stimuli in my life. We cannot change the challenges that are dealt to us, but we as parents must respond in the way we would want our kids to respond when they’re faced with similar challenges.

wish to god by `SheTakesPics

The rules we create are always lacking. Every form of government has existed throughout history yet the human race has been unable to evolve a set of rules, laws to live by, govern by that eliminate suffering, and result in a perfect world with all creations living in absolute harmony. The rules we as individuals live by, the lessons we learn in our experiences, and those very experiences are as diverse as the genetic instructions in deoxyribonucleic acid. I believe that only an almighty God is capable of defining perfect principles, rules that can guide us all throughout this world and after. But we as humans cannot even agree in the implementation of divine laws and what’s worse we cannot even agree to be guided by divine principles.

Not believing in God is unthinkable because it implies that life ends at death. Life cannot end at death because that implies we will never ever see those we love after death. This notion even casts doubt on love, the eternal attachment we have to ourselves and others. Our existence becomes a meaningless processing of energy (loss of energy) if life ends at death. You might say we live to make life easier for the future generations. Future generations have no life if life ends at death. On a continuum of time measured in millions of years, one life is not even a second. If life ends at death, we are already dead.

I believe in God because my own life has been an amazing set of events mostly outside of my own control. If coincidence is so powerful, then by now (remember millions of years) by coincidence we would be living forever and we would be flying around from galaxy to galaxy. Every day something happens that reminds me of His existence. There must be God so evil can meet with its destiny. God must exist so good as defined by Him is properly rewarded.

I believe in God because I cannot be otherwise. The worry for my children would be too great without faith that He would watch over them when I am gone. The pain of losing my mother would be too much if I had no faith that she was still with me. The world would appear too dark, too lonely, and people too cruel. The works would be meaningless, the lessons useless, the moment of despair endless.

It is the deep Christian belief of my people that has kept us from losing our identity, from losing our ideals during generations of genocide and persecution, from not being able to distinguish right from wrong. I, the one small link in a chain that must go on, have no right not to believe in God.

The list could go on…

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I got this from a forwarded chain letter (there’s even doubt about whether Emerson really wrote this) and unlike the normal actions I take (delete…) I sat there thinking. Is it just another Utopian idea? Is there anything missing in it?

I remembered one of the mistakes I made some time ago. I was a teenager, young and stupid (had to have been). My father and I were at our kitchen table having a discussion about a topic I cannot remember. But I remember asking him “What have you accomplished in your life?” I thought he would mention some scientific discovery, but he looked squarely in my eyes and said “I’ve raised two boys.” I was ashamed to have asked him this question. Years later part of me is very happy to know his answer. As we raise our little ones, I continue to learn the profound meaning of his answer.

.Wealth. by Sarah Khanna

The link is missing. To raise good children, we MUST do everything in the first quote and more. This is what I call building wealth for the purposes of this post. One parent, one family, one community at a time, we must build wealth – we must build good children. You say I’m crazy… Imagine a country where the next generation of kids is healthy, well-educated, raised in loving families, with respect for their communities, with respect for each other, entrepreneurial, mentally and spiritually complete, more united than divided. Would there be a richer country (or family, or community) in the world?

Why am I writing this? Because I am convinced that change happens inside our souls, then inside our families, then inside our communities… It’s not a governmental program with program administrators or a presidential initiative. I read the quote above twice more to see if there was any mention of money, fancy shoes, fashion clothes, nice cars, huge houses, dinners at fancy restaurants, or expensive vacations but it appears there’s no mention of anything to which we as individuals and as a country have becomes slaves. I hope some day if my little ones ask me the same question, I can also say “I’ve raised good children.” I hope the whole country can say the same.

Art is a Creation... by *j00nk1m110

Classical music, paintings, architecture, sculpture, poetry and many other forms of art are simply inspirational to children (and adults). Even though sometimes we may feel that they would not understand art, that could not be further from reality. Art is understood differently by different people. Children internalize art in their own way based on their experiences. This is why it is important to not only expose them to art, but to constantly re-expose them because each time they perceive something new in the same piece of art.

We took our son on a trip to Italy where we visited Florence and Rome. He was 3-4 years old at the time. He experienced probably far more than we did during that trip. He understood the ancient and the new in his own way but even today he often understands new concepts through a reference to something he saw during that trip. It’s about expanding their understanding of the world and art provides a beautiful way to do that. So, it’s never too early or too late to get introduced and re-introduced to the beautiful works left behind by the masters who often saw life in its true colors.